"Go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasures in heaven. Then come, folllow me."

My prayers for the last month or so has predominately been for financial breakthrough. I have been asking the Lord all sorts of questions such as, "Why are you not providing for me?", "Is this not what you have called me to?", "What am I doing wrong?", etc. I wanted to believe that the Lord was doing a work in me through this struggle, but I just could not figure out what he could be trying to teach me. Isn't the Lord so Great is his mysterious ways? As I have stayed faithful to him and to my calling he has transformed my heart in such a huge way. I felt the Lord saying to me, "lay it down." What was he talking about? He was talking about everything... all of my worldly possessions. I surrendered every part of my life to the Lord some time ago, as far as hidden sin, areas of inward struggles, etc. But now the Lord has called me to lay down all my earthly possessions. As I finally, in a place of brokenness said "Yes Lord," a Faith that I have never experienced rose up in me, as well as a burning desire to give, give, and give some more. The Bible says to be a cheerful giver, and the original "O" in the IHOP acronym stands for extravagant Offerings. I have been faithful in my tithing in the past, but it was only because I was scared not to. It honestly did not bring me joy for my hard earned money to go into the hands of a ministry or to the poor. I was always kinda like, "Ok God, I did it... now give it back." I have never had the heart posture required to receive the blessings that God longs to give his people that cheerfully give to him. Two nights ago I was praying and made my first deal with the Lord. I said, "If you bless me with a gift tomorrow, I will give all of it right back to your kingdom." I made it specific, I wanted someone to just walk up and hand me some money. That has never happened to me before. The next day as I was walking into class, I knew it was gonna happen. At the end of class we were walking out and a women walked up and handed me $100 dollars. So of course I thanked the Lord and got excited thinking about how I was gonna give it back. So, today I was in the prayer room for four hours praying about how to give it away. The Lord highlighted a guy I know that was in there praying. I pulled him aside and told him the Lord told me to pass on a blessing to him. Turns out he was praying for money and was overdrawn exactly $100 in his bank and had a check he really needed, but would have done him no good putting it in the bank because of his balance. I experienced a new kind of joy today. I believe this is the breakthrough the Lord has been waiting for in order to pour out his blessings on me.

Intro. to I.H.O.P

I have now endured 100 hours (2 weeks) of my internship. The schedule is quite intense and can be overwhelming on certain days, but its nice to not have a single other commitment right now. The first week was pretty hard as I was burdened with finances and overcome with fear and worry. I felt that I had to press in so hard in the prayer room in order for the Lord to hear my prayers that I would leave physically sore. The beginning of this week I received some prophetic wisdom from others, as well as the Lord speaking to me directly to rest and just posture myself to receive. There was an overwhelming peace that came over me. Trusting God for each day is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to learn, but I'm almost there. This week was a sweet time of refreshing, the Lord met me at a place of being burdened and weary and breathed his breath of life into me. I have finally gained the fascination for the book of revelations and Jesus' end time battle plan. This is something i have struggled with ever since I have lived here. God has given me grace to really dig in and search it out, plus the teachings and studies we are doing over end times are amazing and pretty easy to follow. I'm am still contending daily for physical healing in my body. A women in my internship has a son that got called out at a conference by name and told that the Lord was gonna heal him of diabetes, she said that preacher did not know his name or that he was diabetic prior to that. It has now been 25 years and he still has diabetes. Rather than being frustrated about it, he lives everyday day with joyful hope. This is an encouragement to me, I know that Gods timing is perfect and that he has already delivered me from so much my entire life. There were so many times I could have ended up in jail or even dead. I know this internship is gonna be such a significant time in my life, I am already learning so much and God is placing a new passion in my heart for prayer and intercession. I'm still not quite sure what ministry God will place me in after this is over, but I feel confident that it will be a time of finding my true calling and passionately coming alive.