Spirits Up Sugars Down

My two week addiction-breaking/ body crashing period is over. I can now go all day with only decaf coffee and feel great. I had no idea how bad caffeine was affecting my body. I have so much more energy, natural energy, and I sleep so much better as well. A series of events is happening that is causing my sugars to stay down like never before. Me and Adam (new roommate) have gotten serious about getting more active. We have started swimming at the Y, and playing volleyball in a league. We're gonna start stadium stair running as soon as we find one we can get in to. I have found that swimming is the best exercise for me, it keeps my sugars under control, and I don't absolutely hate it... like every other workout. Besides the raw foods, the absence of caffeine, and more exercise, the peace that is in my spirit right now is a major contribution to the way I am feeling physically. When I first moved here, I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing, winter was just starting, it was just kind of a dark lonely time. But now I know that I'm in the Lords will, the weather is getting beautiful, and I'm meeting new friends cause people are actually getting out and doing things. There has been many times in the last year and a half that my sugars have gone down for a period and I thought that all of the "up and down" uncontrolled times where over. However, I feel like I am entering a very significant time in my life, and i am gonna see some serious changes that actually stick this time.

Letting go and letting HIM take control.

As you all know, five months ago the Lord called me to quit my job, my band, my worship team, leave my family, my friends, and my two precious dogs, and move to Kansas City. It has been a journey that I was not at all expecting. I have discovered what it is like to truly be in “the wilderness.” Over night I found myself in a new city with no band, no church community, no family living 5 miles down Miller road, no Rosco and Willy, and only two friends. Now five months later, I must honestly say, I am homesick and somewhat lonely. But throughout my journey through the lonesome wilderness one thing has happened; I have discovered a relationship with a man named Jesus. I thought that I knew this man pretty much my whole life; turns out I did not know him at all. So the sad story you just heard about a lonely homesick boy is actually a story of our great God leading me to a place of desperation and meeting me in a way I never knew was possible. I am so thankful for everything that I have gone through to get to this place. However, the struggle to keep the passionate flame burning is starting to become more and more of a challenge as I grow more comfortable with my surroundings and fall back into a routine life. So what am I doing here now? Well I have been working with my cousin Nick in the business of electrical equipment, spending minimal time in the House of Prayer, attending a home group that I’m starting to dread more each week, and spending countless hours in the evenings sitting in a house wondering, “What’s so different about my life now than when I was back in Texas?” My prayer ever since the day I got here is for his will to be done in my life. So I have now decided to surrender and go wherever he calls me.
It was about two weeks ago that I started asking him, “God is this really what you called me out here to do?” It did not take long before he started speaking to me, and revealing the call he has placed on my life. Right about this time, ironically I was faced with a decision of relocating with my cousin to Houston and continuing with work, or stay here in KC and be unemployed. I have always struggled to hear from the Lord, so for three days I positioned myself in order to hear a clear word, and waited. I heard two very specific things. The first thing he told me is that he created and gifted me to be a relentless worshipper, and that if I surrender to his calling, he will take me places I never imagined. The second thing I heard was him saying, “I have not even begun the work in you in which I brought you here for.” So my answer was clear… I am to stay here, live by faith, and allow the Lord to begin the season of growth that he has for me. I felt an overwhelming peace come over me… for about five minutes, then the fear started flooding in. What do I do? How do I make money? How do I be a relentless worshipper and pay my bills? The devil was doing his best to consume me with fear and doubt. I was driving down the road, almost in tears, dealing with all of these emotions, when I looked down and the clock said 1:11. I automatically thought to turn on the radio… who knows why. Instantly I heard the lyrics, “What if you just jumped... and closed you eyes. Would the hands that catch you, catch you by surprise?” I had never felt the peace of God so thick at that moment. I knew the Lord was telling me that he is going to take care of me through this season.
So where do I go from here? The Lord has called me to dive into the life of being a full-time intercessory missionary/ worshipper. Fancy title huh? What this means is that I am going to do and internship with the International House of Prayer starting in April. Sitting at the feet of Jesus, corporate intercession for city-wide revival , joining the angels around the throne in praise, mourning for the bridegroom in fasting, contending for healing, and operating in the prophetic- all for the renown of Christ- is the focus of this internship. It will consist of sixty hours a week of intense discipleship training. After completion of this three month period I will have several options to continue with IHOP such as, Forerunner school of ministry, Forerunner Music Academy, or join IHOP staff and serve in a number of different positions. Obviously it is on my heart to get involved with the worship teams, and as a worship leader. Asking for support is so far from my nature, it is an extremely difficult position for me to be in. But as I have stated above: I’m letting go and letting Him take control.